Closed Doors

Sometimes, you go through a phase, where you leave something for tomorrow, and when tomorrow comes, you leave another thing for the next day, and this accumulates over a few weeks. Then, you start panicking and try as hard as you can rushing through everything, thinking, how was it possible you could have done such things.

Sounds familiar? Probably because we go through similar stuff. You start feeling really bad about yourself, feeling really guilty and the ever regrettable phrase, “I wish I could go back in time,” which unfortunately, will never happen. And then, you give yourself optimism, finding hundreds of ways that you could actually finish all that you left unfinished, hoping against hope that you will be undiscovered, and face minimal retribution.

Then, as you draw a new, sure-to-work plan, you find that sometimes, situations aren’t so forgiving. The ways that you plotted to get out of trouble the easiest way possible, don’t always work out. Just when you thought you had a surge of hope again, you find several other closed doors, standing in your way. And these, force you to face the consequences and take responsibility for your slothfulness that you have already regretted. You think, “Why does it have to be this way?” like all you wanted was to make a clean break, but the circumstances certainly do not permit you to do so.

*Sigh…