在我身边

我的头感觉好重，好痛苦。。。很想真个人都变成软软的。为什么会有力量来写这些，应该是因为我好希望有人知道我有多难过。。。

刚刚，我想到一个人。我在想，如果他在我这里，照顾我，那会有这么样的感觉呢？奇怪的是，他不应该是我第一个想到的人。是我最近，跟他在一起太多了吗？不知道，也不是很在乎。不想想那么多。。。

现在，如果有人在我身边，就好了。。。 若可以的话，除了照顾我，也赶快地把我的痛苦都带走。。。

Dessert!

Recently I found that people around us can be quite creative when they are given the chance to show it... Hahaha... yesterday when I went to Serdang, I found that they (the brothers and sisters) actually were taking part in a Dessert Competition. I found it quite comical really, the idea.

Anyway, I waited to see the show while I helped Sister House 4 decorate their "Ark", the one Noah built to save his family and everything else. And wow! these people were really quite creative in relating some spiritual meaning to the desserts they made.

Well, let's display the names that were there first - we had "Manna and Living Water", then "God is Love", "God's Expression", "Oneness", "Fountain of Life", "Living Bread from Heaven", "All-Inclusive Christ", "The Ark", "God's Salvation" and last but not least, "Little Water Lily".

Haha....if that wasn't impressive enough, wait till you hear how they presented the meanings behind everything. The first one, "Manna and Living Water" was glutinous balls 'tang yuan' in sweet syrup. Then "God is Love" was actually jelly, but they decorated it with one big heart shape on the outside, and then one small one within it, signifying God's love in comparison to our natural human love.

"God's Expression" was actually spring rolls 'popiah', though how were they related to God's expression that I do not know, or should I say "see". =P But the presenter certainly did try a good job explaining almost every item on the plate, including the sauce for the popiah.

"Living Bread from Heaven" is really bread, spread with kaya and fried with egg. "The Ark"was actually a dish I'd never seen before, probably a specialty from East Malaysia. It was made of crackers, layered with pork and luncheon meat, and steamed; 3 layers in total. Then there were slices of peach for the "waves", and some green vege cut to the shape of 8 human figures. =)

"God's Salvation" was the simplest dish, white, round jelly. The explanation was that God's salvation requires us only to accept Him simply, and the roundness typified the completeness and perfection of God.

All in all, it was a really fun Inter-Varsity Night. I'm sure everyone enjoyed themselves very much! Haha... oh, I haven't wrote who was the winner yet right? Well, the 3rd place was "God's Expression", then the 2nd was "God is Love", and the winner - *deng deng deng deng* "The Ark"!

Haha.... I had somehow unknowingly become part of the winning group.... =P Anyway, it was certainly a nice experience. I'm very glad that I bravely went (I say this because of the haze)!

I Didn't

After the poem below, I wrote this one:

I Didn't

I didn't think, that I would fall
Didn't think, I'd be trapped
Didn't think, it went so deep
Didn't think, I would be stuck

I didn't mean, to fall so hard
Didn't mean, to fall at all
Didn't mean, to feel like this
Didn't mean, to dream even more

I didn't know, I was in danger
Didn't know, history would repeat itself
Didn't know, it wasn't time
Didn't know, it would hurt once more

I didn't ask, to be this way
Didn't ask, for wounds to be opened
Didn't ask, for words to come
Didn't ask, for them to pierce

I didn't hope, that you'd be sorry
Didn't hope, that you'd turn around
Didn't hope, that I mattered
Didn't hope, that you'd care
Didn't hope, that you'd fall as well

Lastly

I didn't tell, that you would know
Didn't tell, that I couldn't let go
Didn't tell, that I really hurt


Didn't tell, that I needed comfort.

Minute Things That Meant The World

Wrote this before the trip to PD, so it's kinda saddening in a way... =) Anyway, this was what I felt at that time, so...

Just needed you to know
That I

Just needed you to look
At me as I passed you by
Just needed you to smile
As I looked into your face

Just needed you to ask
If I was feeling fine that day
Just needed you to care
If I wasn't

Just needed you
For all these minute things
That meant the world

Then at last
If I could

Just need you
To hold
The memory of me within you

hmm-hmm~la-la

hehe... perhaps most people can sense from my title that i'm in a quite happy mood...

Well, i just came back on sunday from the Christian Youth Camp in Port Dickson, with all the youth. It was an extremely enjoyable and fulfilling trip! In fact, after being amidst so many people for those few days, i miss them and the atmosphere so, so much. Being alone in my room and in college when it is the holidays is not exactly welcoming, if u get the idea....

anyway.... i am very happy because... hehe... =P i had a lot of fun in the camp. even coordinating to serve was a very nice experience. my group was in charge of one of the games, separating beans with chopsticks. it was so funny to keep changing ways they picked the beans, and then scare the youth whenever they dropped a bean, or when time was approaching its limit... haha!

another game was, the XY game. actually the motive was to gain the most positive points to win. there were 10 rounds in the game. the game was actually based on trust, that is, each group would have a representative to flash either "x" or "y". if everyone flashed "x", each would gain 100 points. if anyone flashed "y", the "y" person would gain points while the ones who flashed "x" would lose points. but if everyone flashed "y", all would lose points as well. bottom line is, you had a better chance to win if you flashed "y".

after 2-3 rounds, it became clear that we weren't really going to be able to win. so we changed tactics. instead of winning by gaining positive points, we were going to win by negative points. hehe.... hence, after that, every round our group rep flashed "x", and our points became further and further negative. someway in the middle, we thought that we should support our rep, so we started cheering and clapping every time we lost points. it was hilarious because everyone couldn't understand why all of us were laughing like mad while we were actually "losing".

we did lose, in the end, our points being an astounding -2700. =D then even more surprisingly, the serving one actually praised us, commended our group that we actually did not complain even though we lost. he said how we actually had more trust and love, by sacrificing to allow other groups to win. then one of the youth in a winning group said, "haiyo...see! let them get the glory already!" hehehe..... it was even more funny because we never thought of it in that way at all.... =P

hmm.... hope there'll be a trip again soon.... i would love to have so much fun and enjoyment again!