I have not blogged for a long time. Sometimes, I feel like I found something to blog about. Then, the thought of getting to the computer (well, inspiration just has to strike when I'm AWAY from the computer, doesn't it?) switching on the computer, dialing a slow connection to the Internet, and then waiting patiently for the Blogger Dashboard to load, then waiting again for the page to post to load.... well, you can pretty tell what I'm getting at? You'd be pretty discouraged by then.
Then again, maybe it's just me.
What can I say? I'm a pro procrastinator. Especially now with nothing to occupy my time. As my mind searches for what it could be put to use to, I find something - my portfolio. Argh... this crosses my mind with dread. It is not something I want to face. Everyone thinks I can do a very good portfolio since I have so much time. Everyone does not seem to think that this much time can also mean the much time spent not doing the portfolio.
Due to the lack of a portfolio, I have not applied for any university for my degree. The education office has stopped calling. I think they have given up on me already. I... how do I really feel? In me, there is a yearning that I can go and fly off to a university where I would be pursuing something and filling my days in a more useful manner than now. Then I am brought back to the many problems that cause me to be held back here. Sigh... excuses, really. On introspection, I never really did enough to solve them. Maybe you have lost me somewhere in the middle of the paragraph. Doesn't matter... I have lost the desire to express myself in this matter.
Oh, and one of my friends who actually graduated this year (I stopped going to college sometime in the first half of last year) is going to Liverpool for his degree this September. We actually talked about going to uni together ages ago. And what am I doing now? Ah... I will miss him.
I'm not in a job as well. Well, I actually have done a couple of temporary jobs in the last month. Ever since stopping at Mid Valley, I have set up a craft stall at the Real Kids Olympiad at Bukit Jalil, continued my workbook editing, and set up a sand art booth at a promotion area at Leisure Mall. It is almost a week since the last one ended. And maybe tomorrow I'm setting up the sand art thing again. Ok... I don't know what's the point of this.
I think what I'm trying to say is... My life seems to be wasting away at the moment. Wasting away being at home, sleeping at all the wrong hours, eating one meal a day, watching all the DVDs at home, reading and re-reading storybooks, finding games to play on the computer and being unproductive.
Seriously. I feel like crap.
Then again, maybe it's just me.
What can I say? I'm a pro procrastinator. Especially now with nothing to occupy my time. As my mind searches for what it could be put to use to, I find something - my portfolio. Argh... this crosses my mind with dread. It is not something I want to face. Everyone thinks I can do a very good portfolio since I have so much time. Everyone does not seem to think that this much time can also mean the much time spent not doing the portfolio.
Due to the lack of a portfolio, I have not applied for any university for my degree. The education office has stopped calling. I think they have given up on me already. I... how do I really feel? In me, there is a yearning that I can go and fly off to a university where I would be pursuing something and filling my days in a more useful manner than now. Then I am brought back to the many problems that cause me to be held back here. Sigh... excuses, really. On introspection, I never really did enough to solve them. Maybe you have lost me somewhere in the middle of the paragraph. Doesn't matter... I have lost the desire to express myself in this matter.
Oh, and one of my friends who actually graduated this year (I stopped going to college sometime in the first half of last year) is going to Liverpool for his degree this September. We actually talked about going to uni together ages ago. And what am I doing now? Ah... I will miss him.
I'm not in a job as well. Well, I actually have done a couple of temporary jobs in the last month. Ever since stopping at Mid Valley, I have set up a craft stall at the Real Kids Olympiad at Bukit Jalil, continued my workbook editing, and set up a sand art booth at a promotion area at Leisure Mall. It is almost a week since the last one ended. And maybe tomorrow I'm setting up the sand art thing again. Ok... I don't know what's the point of this.
I think what I'm trying to say is... My life seems to be wasting away at the moment. Wasting away being at home, sleeping at all the wrong hours, eating one meal a day, watching all the DVDs at home, reading and re-reading storybooks, finding games to play on the computer and being unproductive.
Seriously. I feel like crap.
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